What 57 Looks Like
Every single skincare, beauty, hair, + health thing I'm using now, plus why I quit Botox, and YES plastic surgery is on the table.
Last week, an interview w/me went live on the Ageist. I was interviewed by someone I used to work with, and when the story came out, one of the sentences in the intro that made me grimace giggle was along the lines of, “As she starts contemplating turning 60…”
😐.
Excuse me, ma’am….who is turning 60 here? But that’s the funny thing about life. One day, you’re 32 and have no idea what it feels like to be jet-lagged or hungover, and the next a cracker that’s just a little too crunchy can totally ruin your day.
[Makeup + no makeup. 😬]
When I was little, I didn’t know anyone “contemplating 60” who looked like me or my friends. To be fair, I don’t really know what I look like, unless someone photographs or films me straight on, in which case I am very uncomfortable and am apt to crawl under the dining room table until everyone leaves. Because what we see isn’t always what other people see, and vice versa. In this story I wrote last year, when I turned 56, I shared a photo of my grandmother, nearly my age, holding me after I was born, along with the inscription on the reverse.
She was 59, already with cropped gray grandmotherly hair. She never drove or got on an airplane. Her life in her fifties was so different from mine. For so many reasons, women of my grandmother’s era didn’t have a lot to look forward to as they got older. They had less freedom, less healthcare, less research; fewer peers writing about their experiences, and less community to share their fears or menopausal rages with as they aged out of caretaking mode. Which is why at 57 I feel a kind of duty to really LIVE for my grandmother and all the women who came before her that didn’t really get the chance to have a life.
On their terms.
Most of what I write about here is about home and styling corners + clothes I love as well as finding wild treasures second-hand…but it’s also (always) about optimizing what we already have. Noticing the beauty available to us at any given moment (it’s FREE). And leaning into where we are at whatever age and making the most of what we’ve got — AND what we’d like to change. Both are important, and both feel good.
Over the past 10 years, I’ve had the good fortune of trying lots of products. From old brands, new brands, and brands that no longer exist. Some I’ve bought and some I’ve been given for free. We live in a time that is an embarrassment of riches in the beauty and skincare department. There’s so much to sort through and potentially blow our $$ on that might in fact be more viral marketing junk than a really solid eye cream that de-puffs like a CHAMP. So, I like to try a lot of stuff. And to be honest, I am cut-throat and will absolutely shit-can something if it A) smells weird or B) has a sticky or tacky consistency.
A few more things that factor into how I look lately:
• I stopped getting Botox close to a year ago. At the time, I did it to save $$ for the cabin buildout. But after about six months, I noticed I was starting to like the way my face looked. So, I didn’t make another appointment. I also realized it was good for me to see what my face was actually doing…what my jawline looked like, where the lines were on my forehead. I wanted to know what I was working with so I could go after the products and treatments that might really help AND feel good.
• About a year and a half ago, I had a consultation with plastic surgeon Dr. Matthew White. When I was 50, I did an Ultherapy treatment with him, and I really enjoyed learning from him and his attitude about his work (it’s really different for everyone). At the time, his staff took a lot of photos of my face from every angle (straight on, blechhh!!), and then Dr. White and I talked about if I got surgery, what we would do. Ultimately, we decided I wasn’t ready for it. But I know at some point, I will be. I’m not sure yet what it will be, but I found someone in Dr. White who listens to me and understands that I want to always look like a rested version of myself; that’s it.
• Feeling rested, happy, or engaged in something that isn’t my phone. I’m working on a project with this company Counterpart, and one of the things the founder, Chloe, and I were talking about was how charging our phones can mean taking time to reconnect to other things: a walk, a movie, a magazine, or coffee with a friend. Reconnecting more with the world around me is helping me feel more at home at this stage of my life. And I think in some subtle way that shows up on my face, too.
• Speaking of rest and good sleep—I love this stuff about a half hour before I go to bed, and it really does work (our friend Jane Herman recommended it in one of her stories, and I’ve been using it ever since).
So that’s today’s story: Every single thing I use on my face, hair, etc., as well as some extras, gadgets, and routines that make me feel better than I did when I was 37. I now know what makes a real difference AND makes me happy…and I spend my money and time on THAT, not on the stuff that makes me feel like I’m supposed to look like someone else.
Before we get to my list, this recent story about Robyn in The New Yorker will make you proud to be a woman in midlife…or heading there. ❤️
And a quick/cool thing: One of the sections in today’s newsletter is my full supplement regimen, and one (big) piece of that is the morning vitamin sachet I’ve been using for the past six months from Biologica. There’s more about their three incredible formulas (and which ones I take and why), but another reason I’m deeply devoted to this company is because its founder, Liz Zwillinger, wanted to create a really high-quality supplement that made busy women’s lives easier, happier, and more streamlined. Biologica has an incredible board of doctors + specialists who help source the best ingredients and high-potency herbs for women navigating hormonal shifts. All I can say is this stuff really works. I am so grateful that Biologica is a paid partner in today’s ATA, and they’re offering everyone 15% off. If you’re curious to try it w/me—just use the code ATINYAPT at checkout. #BiologicaPartner
