The Lawlessness of White Pants

A meditation on all the hangups, plus, a bevy of RADIANT cool whites for the hot season ahead.

🚨 A Tiny Apt. Subscription SPECIAL, Right Here, Right NOW. In honor of A Tiny Apt.’s 150th edition NEXT WEEK, I’m sharing a tiny limited-time paid subscription special—a full year of A Tiny Apt. for just $30. That’s more shape-shifting ideas and inspiration for our spaces, upgrading our personal style, essays about life and cats and TRUE LOVE, finding vintage things with so much SOUL they make a room or an outfit positively SING…and YES, RAD vintage giveaways for Paid subscribers, too. Today’s edition is an example of the kinds of features I spend a lot of time thinking about, writing, building, resourcing so YOU and the people you love can think about the staples in your life—from statement chairs to WHITE pants to cool sneakers—with new eyes and new energy. Come thrifting with me or hunting for a cool new dining table or experimenting with skinny belts and AWESOME skirts (why not??). We do it here…together. Thank you for subscribing, for being a part of this growing community and contributing to a tiny world that is expanding in lots of beautiful/useful/✨✨ ways. Because of YOU…❤️xxCb

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I first became aware of a certain degree of hysteria around white pants back in middle school. I had a pair of white poplin track pants—similar to a Nike pair I have today (pics below)—and I LOVED them. And wore them A LOT, even in cold weather (how dare I?). And while no one in my family ever chided me for such a blatant faux pas (at least not to my face), my friend’s mom looked at me one day after school with what I can only recall as visible disgust. While I (innocently) sat with my friend eating Ritz crackers with Cheez Whiz, she glared and said, “Don’t you know you’re not supposed to wear white pants before Memorial Day?”

I did not. In fact, I cannot even be sure I knew exactly when/what Memorial Day even was at that point of my young life. While I had worn all white at my communion and DID know that if I wore a white swimsuit and actually went swimming my nipples would show (ie: instant hellfire…for eternity), I had no idea there was a hard rule about when I was allowed to break out my favorite pants. My favorite white pants.

I will preface all of this by saying, I look good in white. Great, in fact. But I do not like being told what to do. Or how to dress. Case in point, when my partner and I got married at City Hall, I finally had a chance to look radiant in ALL WHITE. And, naturally, I decided to not wear all white, instead going for a printed raffia skirt with a white t-shirt. It’s always a good idea to question rules that make you uncomfortable…or just make you LAUGH. And someone telling me that I can’t wear my favorite white pants makes me positively insane!

Some other stuff we’ve been peddled over the generations about white pants:

• They’ll make you look bigger than you are.

• Gah! The world will see your underwear! (You’re wearing underwear, aren’t are you?)

• NEVER wear white pants to an Italian restaurant. Or to Sunday dinner if you are in fact, Italian.

• NEVER wear white pants if you’re a mom because tiny dirty hands are always there…waiting (ie: Is that chocolate or poop??💩).

• You have to get them dry-cleaned unless you want yellow pants.

• White pants are only for summertime.

• And rich people.

• You can’t wear them a week before your period. Or a week after. Or if you’re pregnant. Or just had a baby…or a colonic.

• OR any time between the months of September and May…which is literally eight months out of the year, people!

So many rules. So little time…to wear GREAT white pants.

But not today…and never here. A Tiny Apt. will always be a safe haven 365 days a year for white pants…with black underwear because of COURSE we do:). And, today’s newsletter is all about reacquainting ourselves with the life-giving, guilt-free swoon-iness of delicious crispy white pants. Flowy white pants. Sporty white pants. Because for the past 101 years—when back in 1923 the attorney general declared it LEGAL for women to wear pants in public (I know…I’m exhausted even knowing this)—white pants are code for LAWLESSNESS.

🔥 White pant splendor = hot girl summer all-year-round 🔥.

White Pant Splendor, from Bianca Jagger and Jackie to Marlene Dietrich and Rhianna. Photos courtesy of Getty Images.

So, the next time you get dressed, remember: It’s 2024 and you can wear white pants whenever/however you damn want to. With a humongous bowl of carbonara in your lap. Chugging a delicious bottle of Cab Franc. Wading freely into the beginnings of peri/post-menopause sans panty liner. Sitting down on the subway…any subway. And while I whole-heartedly encourage you to spring for a new pair if you need them (lots of options here no matter your vibe or fit preference), I’m also inclined to suspect you have a pair folded up somewhere in the back of your closet for the three measly months you thought you were allowed to wear them. Most of us do. Because as much as I like a shiny new thing, this newsletter is also devoted to working with what we’ve got. Making it new with a fresh take and being resourceful whilst possessing oodles upon oodles of 💫 STYLE…

Before we get into some looks I want to remind you of something important: There are way too many things in the world wanting us to second-guess ourselves. Question our instincts about what we like or look good in. Please don’t let gorgeous white pants be one of them. I can’t think of one person who doesn’t feel like a million bucks in Great White Pants. You Be You. And here’s me being me in my favorite white pants of the moment. Nothing too crazy here, unless you consider a short red tutu dress over white pants crazy. And if you do, that’s totally fine with me…just keep it to yourself😎.