Thanks for sharing this Christene. I’d love to hear more about how this period has affected your attitude towards spending, saving and budgeting in the years afterwards and even up to now. I’ve been thinking a lot about our relationships with money, as people who enjoy lovely things (and hunting for them, and acquiring them!). For me, much as I wish it wasn’t the case, jt seems the acquisition of items is tied up with the notion of “creativity” as it relates to identity. I’ve paused on spending for a period of time in an attempt to try and tease apart “buying/ consuming” from “living a creative life.” As I contemplate what my future life as a shopper could look like, I’m fascinated by hearing about peoples’ journeys towards reconciling a love for fashion/ interior design with fiscal responsibility. Does it all come down to simply allotting a set amount monthly to spend on objects we love? In other words, budgeting? Any and all comments and insights would be most welcome!
Alissa...great questions (and thanks for reading). To be honest, I think this is a huge reason I've always loved thrift stores....they are so liberating, not just in the fact that all the stock is completely unknowable—which is THRILLING—but because thrifting reframes how we value things. I can find a beautiful vintage piece of Limoges for $1 and it will be worth more to me...MUCH more...than if I bought a new piece of Limoges for $200 in a store. Thrifting is definitely a core piece of creativity for me...feeling through the sources of sensation and stimulation whether it's color combinations, materials, or old games with incredibly cool fonts. All that said though, I have a few very expensive newer things that I treasure, too, that I've bought over the years when I've felt more comfortable with where I was financially. A gold Paco Rabanne chain, an Old Celine blazer, a Marc Jabob's floral dress....these are rare purchases but mixed in with all my vintage denim and t-shirts and sweats...it just works. I'm not sure if that answers your question, but that's what it prompted me to write. I'm definitely really careful with money now and worry more than I should. But I'm committed to creating a new relationship with wealth and money for my daughter...and for me, too.❤️
You are right. Thrifting is the place to be! The mix of high and low, textures and colors, the references to different decades, cultures and places..and the way it all shakes out in a look or in a room is the kind of creativity that brings so much joy.
I always enjoy your writing, so thank you for the newsletter.
Oh, I enjoyed this read. A little before covid my husband and I lost some money ...and then covid made it much worse! It was a tough time. I felt like we were failures and it was incredibly stressful. We lived with my parents for a little and then got stuck during covid. Like you, it was wonderful to spend that time as an adult with my parents. My father unexpectedly died in January and now I look back at that time as a weird gift from the universe and a lesson that money isn’t everything.
Penny....I feel this so much. When my father died, I felt the same way....like I was so grateful I had that concentrated time with him and my mom. Thank you for sharing this here too....it helps all of us❤️
This is so beautifully written and raw and real, Christene. Talking about debt is like the third rail, it’s been right there at times for so many of us (I’ve been there!) but no one wants to dare touch it. But looking back, so many lessons and good things came from the ‘getting out’ of it. I was on the 6:06am at Islip Station into Manhattan, changing trains at Babylon. Your story is so familiar! Thanks for this, hope you’re having the best time in Paris! 💕
Wow ! I know that feeling of being in debt and fearing the worst. Sadly, mortifyingly, devastatingly, and humiliatingly I am in that predicament now. At an age many years past 26.
Friends suggested I start a Go Fund Me -- I argued and said it was too embarrassing. But, at the end of my rope on all levels; physically, mentally, emotionally, and fiscally I had run out of options, so I started a Go Fund Me campaign.
This was only 10 days ago.
As I wrote on my Go Fund Me page my life has become “The Perfect Storm” . A collision of 2 autoimmune diseases; lupus & Sjögrens, both in flare ups, long Covid, no income, an exorbitant amount of rent arrears due in full from during the CA Rent Relief moratorium, an ex husband who defaulted on court ordered spousal support, and recovery from an emergency eye surgery in November in which I have lost nearly all sight in my left eye.
Due to taking the route of a Go Fund Me, I have one of my very best friends not speaking to me as she thinks it’s “shameful” to ask others to “contribute” to my “mess”. My sister, the same.
Each of them enjoy high end lifestyles; my friend who has retired from a corporate career and my sister who married and divorced a very well to do man.
I have worked ALL of my life and now I am penniless.
Anyway, not to make this my
Wailing wall or pity party but... you are blessed that you dug out early on.
I made many poor choices in my life, I cannot change that now. I can only move forward ashamed as I am.
Christene, I always love your stories on your life experiences !! 👏🏼👏🏼💕
Julia, thank you so much for sharing this...I'm sure it wasn't easy, and I want you to know how much I admire you by your honesty and courage. I think the first big part of moving through something so hard is being able to give it words and talk about it...holding it in your hands to observe it and learn from it as opposed to holding it in your heart where the hurt can be distracting. I know I can't say anything revelatory here, but hearing about the steps you're taking "to move forward" is what we all have to focus on. And I'm wishing that for you. ❤️
Thanks for sharing this Christene. I’d love to hear more about how this period has affected your attitude towards spending, saving and budgeting in the years afterwards and even up to now. I’ve been thinking a lot about our relationships with money, as people who enjoy lovely things (and hunting for them, and acquiring them!). For me, much as I wish it wasn’t the case, jt seems the acquisition of items is tied up with the notion of “creativity” as it relates to identity. I’ve paused on spending for a period of time in an attempt to try and tease apart “buying/ consuming” from “living a creative life.” As I contemplate what my future life as a shopper could look like, I’m fascinated by hearing about peoples’ journeys towards reconciling a love for fashion/ interior design with fiscal responsibility. Does it all come down to simply allotting a set amount monthly to spend on objects we love? In other words, budgeting? Any and all comments and insights would be most welcome!
Alissa...great questions (and thanks for reading). To be honest, I think this is a huge reason I've always loved thrift stores....they are so liberating, not just in the fact that all the stock is completely unknowable—which is THRILLING—but because thrifting reframes how we value things. I can find a beautiful vintage piece of Limoges for $1 and it will be worth more to me...MUCH more...than if I bought a new piece of Limoges for $200 in a store. Thrifting is definitely a core piece of creativity for me...feeling through the sources of sensation and stimulation whether it's color combinations, materials, or old games with incredibly cool fonts. All that said though, I have a few very expensive newer things that I treasure, too, that I've bought over the years when I've felt more comfortable with where I was financially. A gold Paco Rabanne chain, an Old Celine blazer, a Marc Jabob's floral dress....these are rare purchases but mixed in with all my vintage denim and t-shirts and sweats...it just works. I'm not sure if that answers your question, but that's what it prompted me to write. I'm definitely really careful with money now and worry more than I should. But I'm committed to creating a new relationship with wealth and money for my daughter...and for me, too.❤️
You are right. Thrifting is the place to be! The mix of high and low, textures and colors, the references to different decades, cultures and places..and the way it all shakes out in a look or in a room is the kind of creativity that brings so much joy.
I always enjoy your writing, so thank you for the newsletter.
Thank you for this, Alissa...I really appreciate the feedback SO much:)
Oh, I enjoyed this read. A little before covid my husband and I lost some money ...and then covid made it much worse! It was a tough time. I felt like we were failures and it was incredibly stressful. We lived with my parents for a little and then got stuck during covid. Like you, it was wonderful to spend that time as an adult with my parents. My father unexpectedly died in January and now I look back at that time as a weird gift from the universe and a lesson that money isn’t everything.
Penny....I feel this so much. When my father died, I felt the same way....like I was so grateful I had that concentrated time with him and my mom. Thank you for sharing this here too....it helps all of us❤️
This is so beautifully written and raw and real, Christene. Talking about debt is like the third rail, it’s been right there at times for so many of us (I’ve been there!) but no one wants to dare touch it. But looking back, so many lessons and good things came from the ‘getting out’ of it. I was on the 6:06am at Islip Station into Manhattan, changing trains at Babylon. Your story is so familiar! Thanks for this, hope you’re having the best time in Paris! 💕
Wow ! I know that feeling of being in debt and fearing the worst. Sadly, mortifyingly, devastatingly, and humiliatingly I am in that predicament now. At an age many years past 26.
Friends suggested I start a Go Fund Me -- I argued and said it was too embarrassing. But, at the end of my rope on all levels; physically, mentally, emotionally, and fiscally I had run out of options, so I started a Go Fund Me campaign.
This was only 10 days ago.
As I wrote on my Go Fund Me page my life has become “The Perfect Storm” . A collision of 2 autoimmune diseases; lupus & Sjögrens, both in flare ups, long Covid, no income, an exorbitant amount of rent arrears due in full from during the CA Rent Relief moratorium, an ex husband who defaulted on court ordered spousal support, and recovery from an emergency eye surgery in November in which I have lost nearly all sight in my left eye.
Due to taking the route of a Go Fund Me, I have one of my very best friends not speaking to me as she thinks it’s “shameful” to ask others to “contribute” to my “mess”. My sister, the same.
Each of them enjoy high end lifestyles; my friend who has retired from a corporate career and my sister who married and divorced a very well to do man.
I have worked ALL of my life and now I am penniless.
Anyway, not to make this my
Wailing wall or pity party but... you are blessed that you dug out early on.
I made many poor choices in my life, I cannot change that now. I can only move forward ashamed as I am.
Christene, I always love your stories on your life experiences !! 👏🏼👏🏼💕
Julia, thank you so much for sharing this...I'm sure it wasn't easy, and I want you to know how much I admire you by your honesty and courage. I think the first big part of moving through something so hard is being able to give it words and talk about it...holding it in your hands to observe it and learn from it as opposed to holding it in your heart where the hurt can be distracting. I know I can't say anything revelatory here, but hearing about the steps you're taking "to move forward" is what we all have to focus on. And I'm wishing that for you. ❤️
Thanks DewD...never occurred to me why we chose the spelling we did :)
Such a great share. The very lessons I am trying to teach Joaquin now. Start early and SAVE. Thanks to yr generosity he has a leg up.
He learned a lot of lessons from you, in particular, why having such an incredible work ethic is so valuable...you've taught me a lot, too❤️